As a kid and even teenager I used to love holidays with my family and the traveling wasn’t a problem because I was with family and apart from the ferry, channel tunnel or plane my dad used to drive so we were in control and could drive straight to the place.

And at that time I didn’t have anxiety around travelling.

Since then holidays have been a big challenge and the further away they are the harder they are.

I went twice with Tracy to Majorca in which we had a great time but the journey was difficult for me and we had a transfer bus which I hated and has put me off so from now on we’d get a taxi straight to the hotel.
Also because of the stress/anxiety of travelling I was bad for the rest of the day and the next day which isn’t nice to experience.

I used to hate the part at the airport when you and your luggage have to go through a check because you can’t take anything drinks and that’s what helps me to take away the sick feeling anxiety brings.
I feel if I don’t have a drink the chance of being sick is some much more and it makes me panic and the fear gets worse.
I know from a certain point before getting checked I won’t be able to have a drink and then I’ll have to buy one asap once I get to the other side.

At different parts of the travel I would get anxiety triggers and feel sick, light headed, my breathing would chance and I’d feel dizzy.

We’ve been to Devon twice and the lakes once, all three I drove and because of the drive I was quite drained when I got there so I was bad that night be fine the day after.

I loved the time away it was just the traveling to get there I absolutely hated, if I could’ve beenteleported to just get me there in a second there would be not anxiety for me, that’s how I try to explain it.

We’ve also been as a family to centre parcs which is 40 mins away and because of the 3pm check in I stressed myself out and was bad each first night.
It was the 3pm check ins that trigger me, I like to know that as soon as I’m there I’ve got a place to go if I’m not feeling well.
I’d even book an extra night if it meant I could go in the room as soon as we got there.

And lads holidays…… I’ve always wanted to go on one with my friends but it just wouldn’t have been for me at all and I wish it was different.
The traveling, the drinking, not having a someone there to rely on for travelling or if you don’t feel well etc…. if I went on one I don’t think I’d have come back alive, I think I’d have been a complete mess but I miss what it’s about and the experience!!!
But being on holiday with mates and having fun is something I would have loved.

But unfortunately holidays and abroad or many hours away in travel have been too much for me to do however I do hope that changes soon.

#AnxietySucks #MentalHealthMatters









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