PERSONAL ANXIETY POST - RECENT EVENTS / CHALLENGES

FRIENDS GENDER REVEAL….

My friend was having a gender reveal and we were invited, I really wanted to go so I could spend time with them, I wanted to show them I try to do my best to attend things with them and I didn’t want them to not invite me in the future because I probably won’t go.

So it meant a lot to me to go and I probably put too much pressure on myself but I went and had a great time.

SOPHIA FOR TWO DAYS….

Looking after Sophia on my own is an anxiety trigger for myself because I always fear becoming unwell with headache or sickness and still having to look after her.

The most I’ve looked after her was probably 6 hours and then putting her to bed but with Tracy going on a hen do I was looking after Sophia for two full days which included two nights and as well as that my Mum who is the safety net for looking after Sophia was also going so I was extremely worried and anxious about this.

But thankfully I did it and it went a lot better than I thought and my Dad helped out by having her for 5 hours which helped break it up.

CENTER PARCS….

We had Mon- Fri at Center Parcs and I was fairly calm about this as I’ve been several times but they’ve changed the check-in time from 3 to 4pm and I only realised this two days before so that triggered my anxiety.

I like to have the check-in as early as possible so I know I have a ‘base’ if I need to chill out for a bit.

It got to 2pm and I was starting to get really anxious but luckily I spoke to the reception desk and explained the situation and as they’re part of the great Hidden Disabilities they understood and helped me. They rang to see if our lodge was ready which it was and so they let us go in early which I was very grateful for and allowed me to chill out while Tracy and Sophia went swimming.

It was a very busy 4 days and I did start to get a headache on our first proper day and I was worried because we were due to go out for tea that night but after going back to the lodge and chilling out for a couple of hours I felt better and managed to go out so I was happy about that.

We did a lot over the 4 days and about from summing on the check-in day I did everything so I’m very happy about that and we had a great time (you can see here)

UPCOMING EVENTS / CHALLENGES….

FOOTBALL….

I’ve been wanting to start going to play regular football for years but nothing serious to start, just a kick around but with friends busy it’s been impossible to get 10 people together.

I was desperate to play because I absolutely love playing football and it would help with both physical and mental health.

If I was to attend something new with people I don’t know it would be beneficial if it was mental health related so others attending are in the same position and there’s no pressure on anything.

Luckily in the last week something has been advertised that’s very local and just what I describe above so I’m extremely excited about it and looking to attend.

I’m just hoping I don’t look forward to it that much that I make myself ill and don’t attend, it’s also the night after I’ve had Sophia which sometimes triggers a headache which would put me off going and I have to take and pick Sophia up from school the next day so I’d be worried about getting a headache the next day but Tracy gets home at dinner.

We’ll have to see how it goes but I hope I go and it all goes well.

BROTHERS WEDDING….

I am anxious about this as it’s my brother’s wedding and I’m expected to be there and part of it all (I want to be there anyway but being expected to be there and involved triggers my anxiety).

The positives are that there’s only a few parts throughout the day I have to be there and at other parts I can take a little break if needed, I’ve also got a room for that night so I know ‘my base’ is there if needed.

The other anxiety triggers are to possibly waking up with a headache and having to drive to the venue in the morning, but I think I’m better doing that than staying over night at the venue because my thoughts would run wild and not help me stay calm. And it’s a long and busy day and could cause a tension headache.

FRIENDS WEDDING NIGHT DO….

We aren’t going to the whole wedding so that should help me, the downside though is that it’s at night so I have many hours in the day to think and worry about it which plays into the hands of my anxiety as it tries to make me not go.

I also put pressure on myself as I’ve been invited by my friends and again I want to show them that I want to go and can go so they keep inviting me and want me to be part of things.

I really want to go because I also know I’ll have a good time with them.

BIKE WITH CANADIAN FRIENDS….

Usually this wouldn’t trigger me too much but because two people are coming from Canada and really want to see me and bike with me it adds a lot of pressure and anxiety as I don’t want to mess things up and not go because I’ve made myself ill through the pressure.

I know I’ll have a good time and benefit from it but it’s just the days and hours leading to getting there and battling the negative thoughts that’s the issue.

I really don’t want to make myself ill and miss it and I don’t want them to think they came all this way and I couldn’t drive 45mins to see them.

ABROAD HOLIDAY….

The abroad holiday is a massive thing and I’ve already gone over the ins and outs on another post so I’ll not go over it again ????