I had three big things planned for this year that would massively test where I am on the journey to overcome my anxiety.

The first had already been successfully completed which was looking after Sophia while Tracy was at the hen party for 2 days.

The next was my brothers wedding, I’ve never been to a big full day wedding before (I was invited to one before which was my Aunties and I even travelled the day before on my own to try and calm myself but in the end anxiety beat me and even though I travelled I didn’t make the wedding and I went home) and as it was my brothers so I felt added pressure, I was really anxious about as I knew I’d have to be more involved than usual.

So….. in the weeks and then days leading up to the Wedding I was getting more anxious about it and before I was really busy I was able to basically block it out until the day got closer which helped alot.

The day before the wedding Tracy and Sophia went to stay at the wedding venue over night and I managed to keep myself really calm which was really good.

On the day of the wedding I woke up at 5am and got up and did some work to take mind of things, I didn’t wake up with tension headache which I was dreading.

I was quite calm during the morning but I could feel my head tense, before setting off at 9 even though I was still fairly calm, I took CBD, calms, cocodamol and a head muscle relaxant tablet just to help that extra bit.

Got to the venue at 10 and I was worried about the time waiting before getting there and the wedding starting, I just like to get somewhere and the event start straight away so it’s something to concentrate on rather than my own thoughts and potentially get more anxious but I managed to keep calm.

At all points that I was expecting to get anxious it didn’t come as it would’ve in past years and I was able to stay calm and carry on.

A lot of photos and videos as they’d got photographers and a videographer in, after photos and wedding I went back to the room to lay for 15mins then went back for more photos.

Spent some time chatting after photos and then went to the room to chill for 30mins and took a sumatriptan which helped clear my head as I could start to feel a stress headache coming.

I took some more calms, cbd and relaxant tablet and went back for the speeches and dinner, after all that I went back for 2 hours and a little nap and then went down for the evening party.

At points all throughout the day we were needed for photos and videos but I still managed to take part and without anxiety.

I was staying at the wedding venue that night and traveling home in the morning.

After a full day of being tense, being drained and going to bed late I was the most nervous I’ve ever been about waking up the next day with a tension headache, I fully expected it and I knew I was driving home and was dreading waking up with a tension headache and having to somehow make it home, BUT I woke up perfectly fine, tired but no headache at all.

Before I went to sleep I took a sleep tablet, cocodamol and sumatriptan.

It went better then I could’ve asked for really and I’m so relieved and happy that not only did I stay calm throughout the day but I woke up this morning without a headache.

Two big tests done, one left which is the holiday to Crete in a few weeks.

#AnxietySucks

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